CEO
Scramble
Scramble has been dwelling in middle management for a long time, but not anymore, he’s finally made it to the top! In truth, he’s not really that interested in running the company. He still spends his days sitting on his own, dreaming of a quieter life of contemplative chewing and only turns up to board meetings for the free treats and complimentary bottled water.
Company Welfare Officer
Fly
Some days the pressure of making and packing all the amazing products becomes just too much – this is where Fly kicks into action, jumping on your arm, running up to your ear and nibbling……instant calm……then a trip to Shortstack!
Middle Management
Gizmo
Gizmo was the ideal degu to take up the role of middle management. He is over confident and his leadership style veers towards the ‘authoritarian’ end of the management spectrum. His main tactic to keep work colleagues in check is to groom the hair off their backs, which is surprisingly effective, although it does lead to many visits to Shortstack in DR.
Operations
Chewy
Chewy does all the real work! Running around all day packing all the great Totally Degu products ready for posting.It’s a good job for him, he has so much energy and he gets more than his daily steps in everyday! His dream is to complete the London Marathon carrying a corner platform on his back for Degu rescue charities.
Head chef
Bear
Bear, not being content with the company provided treat plan, took up baking so she could sneak a few extra when no one was looking…..leading to many trips to Shortstack. It turns out she had a gift for Degu treat creation, being promoted to head chef very quickly. Outside of work Bear loves escape rooms and climbing, taking full advantage of the companies health plan (Jane).
First aider
Jane
Jane was top of her class in Degu first aid, she knows all three basic degu first aid techniques, licking, grooming……and if all else fails, bite it off. Here at Totally Degu we have implemented a policy of ‘Human medicine first’ which had come up against a bit of resistance as Jane is very distrustful of vets…….this has led to one or two trips to see Shortstack.
Risk manager
Mouse
Being terrified of every thing and everyone made Mouse the standout candidate for the risk management position (if she wasn’t hiding). Mouses office is packed full of files showing the dangers of the world……especially pigeons. Half an hour on her octodon risk management course, you will never sleep again!
Head of IT
Clyde
Clyde is a whiz with computers! Start a conversation at your own peril. He will squeak on for hours about them, your eyes will glaze over, and you won’t understand much of it. He can be found at Totally Degu Towers, hiding in the basement…….give a warning before approaching and make sure you have already turned your computer off and on again before asking for help!
Logistics
Scooby
Scooby started with Totally Degu as an apprentice. He worked hard through our extensive training program and was promoted to logistics where he is really in his element. All our stock is now carefully piled in the middle of the warehouse ready for Chewy to pack….this sometimes leads to a fight….and more more work for Shortstack (DR) & Jane (First aider).
Product tester
Stripe
Stripe tests the robustness of our products to the absolute limits…….this includes the human employees’ sanity. How much noise he can make from one item to the next is a source of pride. Stripe sees Shortstack on a daily basis, having not just his own file, but a whole filing cabinet of warnings.
Administration
Chunk
Chunk was the obvious choice for the administration role……he just loves paperwork. He happily moves paper around, filing it in his basket……just don’t be surprised if your invoice arrives a little degu chewed around the edges.Chunks last appraisal with Shortstack set him a challenge to reduce the number of damaged invoices from 100% to 90%….he probably won’t make it….
Accountant
Louise
Louise is not an exciting Degu, she likes everything to be in the right place. Show her a pie chart and her little heart races…..outwardly, no sign of excitement. This made her the ideal candidate to be Totally Degus head accountant. She has no formal accounting qualifications, preferring to learn on the job……luckily she has all her toes, making counting much easier.
Degu resources
Shortstack
Shortstack is very overworked, meshing Degu and human working practices together is proving very challenging. Health and safety in the workplace is unheard of in the Degu world, apart from Mouse, who has fully embraced it. Interactions with work colleagues does not meet with modern human workplace expectations….Shortstack runs a lot of workshops on ‘why it is wrong to bite a work colleague’.
Head of facilities
Pat
Too much wee on the canteen floor? Poo in the corridor? Chewed platform in the rest area……Pat is the Degu to speak to. She will spring into action making things ship shape in no time.
Customer service manager
Bodger
Although all of our products are for Degus, our customers are mostly human. Bodger much prefers humans to degus and so is an excellent customer service manager. Keep your question concise though, he is liable to curl up and go to sleep if you take too long………more work for Shortstack.
Head of environmental and social responsibilities
Pat
Pat is very quiet and is always hiding away……this made her the ideal candidate for this job that is required as part of Totally Degus management system. It is a job in name only….there is stuff written down….so I am told….never read it……..I’ll go see Shortstack.
Security
Daryl
Daryl tries his best to protect the company by squeaking at any threats and all intruders, this includes fellow employees. This can cause fights (more work for Jane), or a scary work environment, mainly for Mouse (more work for Shortstack). He has been on many 'Identifying risks & threats' courses, but is yet to pass one.